I was raped.
I was raped, and I am standing up. I am standing up for my sister, for my family and for my friends. I am standing up because it just takes one person to start a movement.
I am tired of being treated like it was my fault. It was my fault for wearing makeup and dressing nicely and drinking beer. It was my fault for having nice hair and pretty eyes. It was my fault for having breasts and a vagina.
I have the right to dress as I please and drink what I want and dance to 80's one-hit wonders. But who gave rapists the right to decide that if they want something, they can take it? No one gave them the right to assault a woman or man or child.
In this world, rape survivors are stigmatized. We're sorry it happened, but, you know, maybe they should have done something a little differently?
What could I have done differently? What could my friends have done differently? It doesn't matter. Rape doesn't single out the drunk nympho from the poor side of town. Any number of my friends could have been assaulted, and 1 in 3 of them will be by the time they leave college. Most won't report it, because reporting a rape or assault is humiliating. I would know.
So stand up. Stand up for your sisters and mothers and brothers and sons. Stand up until our world changes the way it looks at assault survivors. We're not outcasts, suffering from some horrible disease that if you get too close, you'll catch it. We're your neighbors, your friends, your family members. Stand up for us, because the worst thing you can do is pretend it doesn't happen.
This entry will be open for at least a week. Link it, repost it, whatever. I won't friendlock it for a while.Resources: Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) National center for Victims of CrimesMy story:March 31, 2007: Slut (18 hours after the assault)April 20, 2007: A Record of EventsJune, 2007: On Victim BlamingJuly-August 2007: FriendshipSeptember 2, 2007: HeartbrokenOctober 2, 2007: Letter to the EditorOctober 14, 2007: PiecesNovember 1st, 2007: Decisions and DevelopmentsNovember 9, 2007: TerrifiedJanuary 12, 2009: PitchforksFebruary 22, 2009: CopingStand Up
(poetry)February 26, 2010: Rape is WrongMarch 30, 2012: AnniversaryMarch 19, 2013: Dear Rape SurvivorMarch 29, 2014: On Forgiveness and Living a Good Life
Written March 29, 2014. Trigger warning for description of an assault.( Read more...Collapse )
I had this whole entry planned out. I was going to write about forgiveness, and how it’s never really for the person who hurt you. But the past few days have made me realize that I’m not ready to forgive, and that’s okay. There are going to be some years that are great, and I feel great—like last year. But there are going to be some years where I feel like I have fallen into quicksand and no one around me can hear my shouts.
It does get better. But not this year. This year is pretty tough, and no, I am not ready to move on. I am not ready to forgive.
Five years ago today, I was raped.
Consider this your trigger warning.
It wasn't gray rape. It wasn't date rape. It wasn't “rape rape.” It was just rape.
The details aren't really important. You're just going to have to take my word for it.
But here are some things that happened as a result of it.( Read more...Collapse )
I am cleaning up my friends list. This means I am pulling people who do not list me as a friend (and therefore, I cannot read their entries, so...), as well as people who have not posted recently (like...in five years). If you think you were wrongly removed, or if you would like to be added for the first time, let me know, I will happily add you back on LJ and DW. Really, the only people who will be affected probably don't read my journal anyway, but I wanted to post this in case I make a mistake.
For those of you unsure who I am, I go by Missy and auraesque on LJ and DW for privacy reasons, but you may know me as holli, holliberry13 or Amalthea on KB, Morphz and other sites. So, yeah, that's me. No worries. (I'm pretty predictable when it comes to usernames.) :)
I haven't had an issue with adding strangers and making new friends--you have all been so wonderful and not-creepy. Let's keep going like that.
I wish I blogged more. And commented more.
Rape is wrong. It is always wrong. It is not sex. It is not deserved. It is not a weapon of war. In the United States, 1 and 4 women
will be sexually assaulted by the time they leave college. This is unacceptable. In other countries, the number is even higher.
) wrote, "The Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), formerly known as Zaire, is the 12th largest country in the world, and the third largest on the African continent.
"Since 1996 East DRC has been in an ongoing civil war.
"One of the main tactics in this civil war is the attack on civilians by all participating opposing forces -- there are more than two "sides" in the conflict and all of them use the civilian population as their battlefield.
"And all of them rape."
Read the rest of her post here at her journal
, and then take action. Talk about this. Talk about rape. Talk about why it is wrong.
Write to your congressmen and women
. Demand the U.S. push for a stronger position from the United Nations
Support organizations like V-Day
or Doctors without Borders
or Fistula Foundation
—organizations that help these men and women and children.
Most of all, talk about rape in your own life. Tell your sons and daughters what rape is; teach them it is not okay. Talk about it in school with your friends, in health class or in history. Talk about it on your blog or livejournal. Stand up for victims and speak out against rapists.
If you can’t do it for the nameless, faceless victims, do it for me.